One Sunday last winter, I taught Sunday School to the kids at my church. It was a sunny, clear day and the ground was white with snow from the week before. We ended our time learning about “passing along” God’s love. To solidify this in the kids’ minds, we made hearts out of pipe cleaners to share with others. We rejoined the rest of the congregation during the closing song. The sun shone down on the congregation as the children passed out the hearts to the adults. The adults smiled as the kids made their rounds, telling them, “Jesus love you!” and giving them a heart. It was a sweet moment for our church family.
The service ended. The lesson was forgotten.
A small subset of my precious Sunday school class then proceeded to throw icy snowballs at a vehicle passing by our church. Needless to say, the driver of the vehicle was furious.
How is it that we can dispense God’s love one minute and be so hurtful the next? Over the last year and a half, this is what I have both seen and experienced within the evangelical Church. One minute, people are preaching God’s love passionately and the next minute, the same people are behaving anything but Christlike. I get it. We are all sinners. This does not shock any Christian. This is, of course, why Jesus died. However, just because we are all guilty of sin, does not excuse us from the sin we commit.
A story from inside an elevator
My husband and I just got back from a great vacation outside our country. Our first interaction with Americans after passing through customs again was eye-opening. There were lines of people waiting for large elevators to take us from one floor in the airport to the next. The doors opened and a family of four entered the empty elevator followed by my husband and I, followed finally by another man. With everyone’s luggage, the elevator was full, but not cramped. As the doors began to shut, the first man who had entered the elevator looked at my husband, the other man, and me and accusingly informed us we were not social distancing. Without missing a beat, the single man shot back, “We all get to make our own decisions.” To be clear, I see problems with what both men said, but I want to only address the actions of the second man because this has been the attitude I have witnessed (and experienced) happening within the evangelical Church. First of all, why was this man so quick to deny fault?
If it is true that we all make mistakes, shouldn’t humility be a greater virtue than being right?
I believe humility has been overlooked, to a large degree, in the Church. An emphasis on making good decisions can lead to great things like justice and healthy lifestyles, but an overemphasis on “being right” leads to legalism, unfair judgement, and leading people astray because… we aren’t always right. I believe it is important for us to make the best decisions we can, but I find humility even more important because without it, no one will ever be able to listen to anyone else in order to discuss and understand what truly is “right.” Over this past year, the Church has overemphasized “being right” while sacrificing humility. I want to come back to this, but for now, let’s return to our story.
Back to the elevator. Although the second man argued that both men could make their own decisions, our decisions took the ability to choose away from the man with his family. The first man got on an elevator he was comfortable in. The decisions of my husband, myself, and the single man impacted the decision of the first man. None of us considered the first man or his family as we got on the elevator. If we had considered them, it would have been easy for us to politely ask if there was room for us. As it was, we were in an enclosed elevator with two men in a suddenly heated confrontation. I recognized the simple step my husband and I skipped when we got into the elevator. Although I had made a decision I was comfortable with, it inhibited someone else from being allowed to do the same. I put my hand between the two men to form a sort of invisible wall between them and acknowledged that the first man was right and that we should not have gotten on the elevator without checking with him first. Then I apologized for not being considerate of him and his family. This diffused the situation and moments later, the doors opened and our interactions were over.
In this instance, it didn’t matter who was “right.” Neither of these men were going to convince the other of their viewpoint, nor would it have done any good if they agreed by the end of the elevator ride. It wouldn’t have done me any good to side with one man or the other. The only good that could come from it was humbling myself to escort peace into that small, enclosed cubical. I believe this is the same peace that Jesus has offered all of us and wants us to pass along to everyone around us.
There are so many Christians who don’t understand how their words and actions are affecting other people. Many of these individuals are leaning into the American Individualistic belief and using it as an excuse to do whatever they want, independent of how it affects anyone around them. These people weigh out what is best for themselves and their family, not considering the effects of their decision farther than this small circle of impact. Oftentimes, their decisions impact the people around them as well, many times taking away the option for others to be able to make their own choices. There is no attempt at peace or humility in these actions.
The apology
I have seen a lot done in Jesus’ name over the past year and a half. I have been ashamed of so much of it. I spoke with a woman over the summer who does not know Jesus and has never had any connection to the Church. She explained to me how confused she was because although she always thought Jesus was accepting and loving, this is not what the Church had shown her over the year prior to our conversation. All I could do was tell her she was right. Jesus is loving and accepting, but we failed to show that to her. I apologized to her for the Church’s unkind words and actions she had experienced. I want to do the same thing now. I want to apologize to those who have been confused and lost over this past year by the Church’s words and actions, unable to recognize Christ in the Church. I am so sorry. The Church has failed to represent Jesus to you. We have hurt others, slandered, gossiped, lied, supported evil, caused division, been racist, been power-hungry, money-hungry, oppressed other humans, and fought for our “freedoms” and “rights” at the expense of the freedom of others. I acknowledge that many in our country have been hurt by the Church through all of this. I apologize on behalf of the Church. I am so sorry for bringing hurt instead of healing and hate instead of love. When our country needed unity more than anything, the Church was instrumental in causing a great divide. We attached things to Jesus’ name that should never have been there. We followed the guidance of social media instead of the guidance of the Holy Spirit. These things were sinfully done in Jesus’ name, but I come before you now and apologize in Jesus’ name.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
